It was his first overseas assignment. A poker-faced Jones from The Daily Socialite was having baked beans for lunch. Out of a tin. He also wore an overcoat and a hat for some reason. This warranted suspicious looks from a happy populace used to pasta e fagioli, parmigiana, mescciüa, and salted cod.
Jones knew the assignment. Stay imperceptible, get the pictures. He would not lose to The Daily Trail. He had a code. Diligence is the mother of good luck. Or something else that Mr. Franklin had said. He captured this image. She was even better looking than the pictures suggested. No surprise then, that Mr. Bertram Wooster be the subject of much envy and admiration.
With more such pictures the price of The Daily Socialite would break the one penny barrier and he would be richly rewarded. Jones was annoyed when he noticed the valet in the white suit. He had heard that this man could make picture taking difficult.
Unfortunately for Jones, The Daily Trail’s Fernsby had the advantage of an earlier crossing across the sea.
Fernsby had an ancestor who had discovered an island and had immediately announced to his crew ‘Burn the boats.’ He had optimism flowing in his veins. A flask of water, a bar of chocolate a word of encouragement. All that he had ever needed to win the races in school. He would win at this assignment too. It was no surprise that Fernsby had already captured this image. He could already see the headlines ‘Wooster’s strange choice of ice-cream, what does Lady Roberta see in him?’
It was only a matter of time. In the afternoon, Fernsby noticed Jones noticing Fernsby. The following conversation took place:
Fernsby: Well, well, well, who do we have here?
Jones: I could say the same thing. I will do you one better. Well, well, well, well, if it isn’t mister earnest himself!
Fernsby: In an overcoat in coastal Italy, Jones? No wonder they call you the thickest man in journalism.
Jones: Good camouflage has virtues that the feebleminded cannot hope to understand. Fernsby, you are up against it. Go home to your mother.
Fernsby: School boy stuff, Jones. I have work to do. When you are out of a job, look me up. I will extend some professional courtesy.
Jones: Ho! Haven’t you heard? There’s two of them. I got a picture already. Diligence wins single every time.
Fernsby: Two of them? What in the Dickens?
Jones: Hah! I am off. I have already got a capture.
The next day’s newspaper headlines almost write themselves.
The Daily Socialite
WOOSTER ABANDONED?
Lady Roberta seen strolling seaside with mysterious blonde aristocrat. Where was Bertram? Our correspondent investigates.
Naturally, The Daily Trail would respond with:
EXCLUSIVE – WOOSTER FOUND EATING GELATO ALONE
Experts divided over choice of flavour!
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